Saving Our Sons by Michael Gurian

Author:Michael Gurian
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: boys, males, gender studies, adolescent males, male developement
Publisher: Michael Gurian

Today at 5 p.m. we had Aiden’s birthday party at Space Odyssey. The kids got to bounce, jump, and run around. Then it was time for pizza. The kids ate in the party room. Some kids eat faster than others. While we were waiting for all the kids to finish eating, a few boys found an empty space in the middle of the room and began wrestling around. Before we knew it ten or so boys joined in. Rose and I started to talk about Michael Gurian and what we heard from him about maturity, intervention, and aggression nurturance in the conference this morning. Christine (Zachary and Kyle’s Mom) excitedly joined in on the conversation since she has read two of his books.

The horseplay began to get a little rougher. Tanay dragged Khalid across the floor by his arm. Rose and I wanted to step in but we instead collaboratively decided to observe and see what happens. At this point other parents got interested and joined in on our observation process. I looked across the room and Susan and Fahima were on the other side watching intently, pointing and discussing but never intervening. The boys themselves were hugging, wrestling, rolling, dragging, and kicking. I was getting nervous but the boys’ faces were all smiling. Their eyes were on each other totally engaged, totally connected. No one was malicious. At this point even the party attendant had joined us in our fascination.

Then it was time for cake. The kids gathered around the table. No one was hurt; everyone was happy. None of the girls had joined in on the horseplay by the way, but most of the boys had. The kids sang happy birthday, first in English, then Spanish, Filipino, Chinese, Hebrew. The attendant was shocked and amazed and wanted to know what school we were from. Everyone had cake and said what a great party it was. We said goodbye and there were lots of hugs. It was great.

Thank you for the conference. We are all discussing, debating, wondering, calculating and thinking about Michael Gurian’s words. I hope we can continue to unravel the mystery of boys — well, a mystery to us women anyway!

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